Dr. Allan Horowitz, published newspaper article, Richmond Hill Liberal, Copyright 1985-1991
QUESTION: I love your articles each week. I don’t know how you can keep your sense of humor. I liken you to Ann Landers. Could you please comment on this enclosed column form Ann. Do you agree? I hope I will see your answer in The Liberal.
ANSWER: My highest ambitions have now been achieved. Even being mentioned in the same breath as Ann Landers is a dream come true. No, I’m just kidding. Actually, Ann and I are old friends. I remember once the two of us were sitting around discussing what we would like to do in 20 years. She told me she wanted to be a columnist like her sister ‘Dear Abbey’, and have her columns published daily in thousands of newspapers across the world. I told her I wanted to write a weekly column for The Liberal. Isn’t it great how we each got our wish? Because Ann is such a good personal friend, I’m sure she won’t mind me re-printing this column you sent me.
DEAR ANN LANDERS: I am a faithful teenage reader. For six months I have had a pain in my tailbone, although I had never fallen or anything like that. Yesterday, I was in agony and went to the doctor. He said I have coccygodynia and told me to throw away all my tight jeans (which were skintight). He claims he has seen many such cases among people who wear tight jeans with heavy seams.
He said heat can be helpful but time alone will clear up the problem. Meanwhile, several pairs of jeans are going to my younger (smaller) sister.
ANN’S ANSWER: Thanks for an informative letter. I wish all pains in that area could be so easily cured.
MY ANSWER: That was all Ann said. How much does she get paid for that? Seventeen words? I better get in touch with her and tell her to shape up or she won’t be around much longer. And that poor attempt at humor…Oh Ann!
To answer your question, yes I do agree with the New Jersey teenager’s doctor. Very often tight jeans with rough seams will irritate the coccyx (tailbone) and lead to pain. If I got paid as much as Ann I would have also said that other than falls, sitting in hard chairs, slouching while sitting, riding unicycles also can cause coccygodynia. (I once treated a clown for this problem who developed it while trying to beat a word’s record for riding a unicycle.)
From now on I think I’m going to keep my answers limited to 17 words. It’s much easier. I won’t get into as much trouble, and maybe my columns will be syndicated across the world.