Dr. Allan Horowitz, published newspaper article, Richmond Hill Liberal, Copyright June 06, 1990


It is now the morning after
the night before. The night
before was spent at York
Central Hospital’s obstetrics
department. My wife was
having our third child.

What was supposed to be a
simple, quick, no-problem birth
turned into a 14-hour affair. Everything went very well, just
slow.


The baby was born on May 2,
and I am writing this article on
May 3. Why am I telling you all
this? Because I have nothing
else to write about today. I have
no time to research or read
letters or write an informative,
educational column filled with
big, scientific words.

I have to go to work, look
after my patients, call my other
two kids every half hour to
make sure that Jennifer isn’t
scratching her chicken pox and
to make sure that Joshua isn’t
telling her that she’s going to
end up with big holes in her
body if she does scratch them. I
then have to shop, wash, cook
(or order something), pick up
Debbie’s pillow (she has a
complaint about York Central’s
pillows), buy some flowers, and
run around doing all these “wife
things” for the next few days.

I know I’m going to get
blasted for that comment, but
new fathers should be allowed to
say things like that and get
away with it.

VERY IGNORANT

I read four People magazines
yesterday and two complete
Sports Illustrated magazines.
This might not sound like an
accomplishment, but it is. I am
very ignorant when it comes to
knowing who is who in the
world of important, famous
people.

I am reading a People
magazine that tells me that
Cher is in love with a bagel
salesman. Debbie informs me
that they have been living
together for years and are
probably long broken up by now.

I then learned that the star of
Moonlighting, Cybil Sheppard, is
getting divorced from her
chiropractor husband. I then
heard from Debbie that they
split up years ago, and not only
that, but her show has been
cancelled also.

I know that I am bored when
I actually find it interesting to
read that some high school
senior in Bangor, Maine scored
68 points in his school’s final
basketball game. Wow! I wish
they provided me with this kid’s
junior high school statistics as
well. I then read all I wanted to
know about stock car racing,
and I then read the prediction
that Calgary was going to repeat
as this year’s Stanley Cup
winner. So much for Sports
Illustrated.

I ate two granola bars from
the cafeteria, had three bottles
of ginger ale from the kitchen
and had six cookies (I hope
those little black things were
supposed to be there).

For the first half of the day, it
was so busy that we were stuck
in a storage room. All other
rooms were full and they even
had one poor lady in the
kitchen. We got to know each
other quite well, whenever I
went for a cookie and a drink.

EIGHT MONITORS

The next room was the
”original C-Section” room as the
doctor proudly called it. I was
made to feel like somebody
special, as it was the only room
with three cans of apple juice on
the floor by the door, a huge
clock that always pointed to
12:10, eight fetal heart monitors
and four beds.

I bet no other couple had
eight fetal heart monitors!

GET SOME SLEEP

Once a real room was cleared
out, we were escorted into it and
then I had my own telephone, a
closet, washroom and a real
rocking chair so I could try to
get some sleep.

Everything went well, the
nurses and doctor did a good job,
the mother was brave and the
father was terrific.

If the baby was born on any
other day except a Wednesday I
would have written a real
article, so one day I’ll have to
thank Jordan for giving me the
excuse I needed to loaf for one
day.

Thanks Jordan.