Dr. Allan Horowitz, published newspaper article, The Liberal, Copyright September 27, 1989
Dear Readers:
I have a rather cute poster hanging in my office which usually is ignored by my younger patients, but always brings a comment from the older ones.
Yesterday it brought a real chuckle from an elderly patient who told me I must run it in my next column.
So, as a special request to Mrs. Q. B. here it is: (I don’t know the author, but I’ll feel like Ann Landers if I ask, so I won’t)
The Days of Getting Old:
This will shock you!
I am never lonely here – I have four men in my life- Don’t tell. I Get up in the morning with Charlie Horse. I spend all day with Arthur Itis. I dine with Will Power. I go to bed with Ben Gay.
Everything is farther away now than it used to be. It is twice as far to the corner, and they have added a hill. I notice I have given up running for the bus – it leaves faster than it used to, and it seems they are making stairs steeper than in the old days.
Have you noticed the smaller print they are using in the newspaper now? And there is no sense in asking people to read aloud – everyone speaks in such a low voice I can hardly hear them.
It is almost impossible to reach my shoelaces, they make them so short these days.
Even people are changing.
They are much younger than they used to be when I was their age. On the other hand, people my age are much older than I am.
I ran into a classmate the other day, and she had aged so much that I didn’t even recognize her.
I got to thinking about the poor thing when I was combing my hair this morning, and in doing so I glanced at my reflection in the mirror, and do you know, they don’t even make mirrors like they use to!!
Allan Horowitz, D.C., is a chiropractor and writes this public service column.
He will attempt to answer readers’ questions on a variety of topics including headaches, back pain, nutrition and preventive medicine.
Address your questions to Allan Horowitz, care of The Liberal, Box 390, Richmond Hill, L4C4Y6.